Goku Goes to K-Mart
by Rocket-Strife
Summary: A short piece of whimsical fluff. The Z Fighters cruise for some bargains


Goku Goes to K-Mart  
  
Foolhardy nonsense by Rocket-Strife  
  
Disclaimer: Everyone here belongs to good old Akira, not me!  
  
Goku casually rode his cloud through the hardware aisle of K-Mart, clutching at his standard issue red basket which contained far too many packets of no brand name crisps and far too few pairs of white Y-fronts. Contemplating zapping across the aisles towards the home entertainment section to play around with some bitchin' Playstation games, a sudden, oddly melodic voice echoed across the store.  
  
"Attention shoppers," The voice began. "There is a blue light special on potplants in the greenery. I repeat, blue light special on potplants."  
  
Goku paused, his Super Sayijin instincts kicking into overdrive as he suddenly realised that he wanted a potplant to call his own, and he wanted one badly. Eyeing Vegeta swaggering through the underwear section he flew forward, and screaming `KAME HAMEYA' for no apparent reason, (as he was not performing the Kame Hameya) he ran his fellow Sayijin over, and stood firm, realizing the next obstacle in his path was an irate Bulma with her pusher. She looked very angry, and Goku, ignoring Vegeta's attempt to kick him in the balls from the plushy gray carpet, started to power up. Bulma was having none of that, and slammed her pusher, along with baby Trunks forward; Goku abruptly stepped aside.  
  
"Idiot, Kakarrot." Vegeta said poignantly, struggling to his feet and brushing off his blue jumpsuit for good measure. Bulma was long gone by now and Goku looked very defeated as he hopped off his cloud, which disappeared with a rather pleasant sounding `pop', and powered down from his super stage. He scratched the back of his head and did an amusing anime sweat drop.  
  
"Sorry." He said apologetically, deciding to take the rest of his journey by foot. Vegeta grumbled to himself through clenched teeth and went back to sorting through socks, as Goku turned hurriedly from the aisle and suddenly found himself in sports, where, bizarrely, Gohan appeared to be trapped atop a very high basket ball hoop.  
  
"Dad-DY!" Gohan whined. Krillin, who was riding a skateboard no better than another skateboard would, came to a very violent looking halt, the board flipping on its side and its red, plastic wheels continuing to spin despite that fact. Crawling up painfully from the floor, he felt to see if his nose had been broken, before remembering that he didn't have one.  
  
"How did you get up there, son?" Goku called, ignoring Krillin's distress at his, let's face it, pathetic fall. Gohan looked down with very wide eyes.  
  
"I have no idea." He replied earnestly. Goku delicately sniffed the air.  
  
"Have you...have you been smoking pot?"  
  
"No!" Gohan squealed.  
  
"You have, haven't you?"  
  
"No!" Gohan squealed again, although not with as much conviction. Goku turned and looked at Krillin.  
  
"Krillin, how could you let him smoke pot?"  
  
"It's not my fault." Said Krillin. "We were like, hanging around with Master Roshi, and you know how much of a stoner he is, and anyway, we were wondering what a stoned Super Sayijin would look like. I mean, after my first joint I came to terms to the fact I don't have a nose. Seeming it reconciled Tien about his third eye and all..."  
  
"Alright, alright..." Sighed Goku. "Just don't let it happen again. Or I'll be forced to have Chi-Chi intervene."  
  
Both Krillin and Gohan paled as Goku headed off from sports and found himself in cosmetics. It didn't seem that he was finding himself any closer to the greenery, and he sighed. Leaning against a large display of Maybeline, which broke almost immediately due to his Sayijin strength, he winced at the diabolical devastation of mashed lipsticks and splattered face makeup now bombarded all over the floor. Trunks suddenly came waltzing through, carrying a box of hair dye, Just For Sayijin's Super peroxide. Goku looked at the box and Trunks blushed, quickly shoving it into his basket and shuffling away.  
  
"All I want is a potplant, darn it." Goku muttered, lightly stepping over the horrendous mess he had created. Stalking across cosmetics, towards the other side of the store, he took a quick detour through home entertainment, where an obviously stoned Tien and Yamcha were gaping blankly at the copy of Diddy Kong Racing they were playing with. Yamcha giggled in his superiority as he crossed the finishing line, Tien's pixilated character repeatedly ramming the wall as he continued to stare at the screen. Yamcha sighed.  
  
"We've finished playing now." He said matter of factly.  
  
"Says you." Retorted Tien.  
  
Goku watched them both for a couple of moments, before making the quick decision he wasn't letting Gohan hang around with them anymore. Slipping past them both un-noticed, and walking straight past Piccolo who was chilling to some Brittany Spears, he at last caught a glimpse of the greenery, and jumped for joy as discretely as he could. Striding forward into the stifling heat of the store green house, he snatched up his precious potplant. He thrust it into the air, powering up to Super Sayijin stage just for the hell of it, before looking down at it and pondering just why exactly he wanted it. It looked pretty boring actually, and with a sigh he realized it would probably just sit around the house, screaming for water, until Gohan pissed on it and then it would die, and piss him off . Torn between the moral dilemma of the potplant's civic rights of ownership and his urge to buy anything on blue light special, he hung his head like a small child and begrudgingly placed the  
potplant back with all its leafy friends.  
  
"Sorry." He said to the plant. It looked offended.  
  
Piccolo came striding mightily into the greenhouse, and placed a green hand on Goku's shoulder.  
  
"Everything is going to be okay." He said, more flatly than anything else. Goku nodded.  
  
"Attention shoppers," The melodic voice bounced about the store again. "Blue light special on Just for Sayijin's peroxide, I repeat, blue light special."  
  
Trunks came rushing past, his basket over flowing with aforementioned product. Goku powered up, hit super level, and stared at his reflection on the clear glass door.  
  
"Well," He mused. "I suppose being a little lighter couldn't hurt."  
  
"Yeah, if you want to look like Android Eighteen." Piccolo said matter of factly.  
  
"I heard that." Trunks muttered from beyond the greenhouse.  
  
Goku shrugged, leapt back onto his cloud which had mysteriously reappeared, and shot out of the door. Piccolo, whom sighed and shook his head, lifted up the potplants.  
  
"It's true what they say about blonds." He mumbled, looking at Goku as if he were proving his own theory to himself. A few metres from the wise Namek warrior, the blue light shone on...  
  
End. 


End file.
